Maintaining friendships when you’re the first in your group to have a baby can be challenging, but it’s definitely possible with a bit of effort and understanding from both sides.

We asked dozens of mamas in our Facebook group about what are some of the strategies they used to help navigate this transition and keep their friendships strong.

These were the answers we received:

1. Communicate Openly

• Share Your Feelings: Let your friends know how you’re feeling about the changes in your life. Open communication can help them understand your new priorities and challenges.
• Be Honest About Your Availability: Explain that your schedule is now influenced by your baby’s needs, but you still value their friendship and want to stay connected.

2. Understand that your friends will nOT understand

• Adjust Expectations: Understand that your friends may not fully grasp the challenges of new parenthood. Likewise, your schedule may limit your availability for spontaneous outings.
• Be Patient: Give your friends time to adjust to your new role and lifestyle. They might need a little while to find ways to include you in their activities.

3. Include Your Baby

• Invite Friends Over: Host casual gatherings at your home where your baby can be present. It’s a great way for friends to meet and bond with your little one.
• Plan Family-Friendly Outings: Organize activities that accommodate both your baby and your friends. For example, a picnic in the park or a brunch at a baby-friendly café.

4. Schedule Regular Catch-Ups

• Set Up Playdates: Arrange regular meetups with your friends, such as a weekly coffee date or a monthly get-together. This ensures that you have dedicated time to catch up.
• Use Video Calls: When in-person meetings are challenging, use video calls to stay connected. It’s a good way to chat and see each other even if you can’t physically be together.

5. Make Time for Individual Friendships

• One-on-One Time: Sometimes, meeting individually is easier than coordinating with a larger group. Try to spend one-on-one time with friends when possible.
• Shorter, Frequent Visits: If longer outings are tough, opt for shorter, more frequent visits. Even a quick coffee or a walk can help maintain your connection.

6. Embrace the Changes

• Share Your Journey: Keep your friends updated on your experiences with babyhood. Sharing milestones and stories helps them feel included in your life.
• Be Open to New Conversations: Your life has changed, and so might your conversations. Embrace this and find common ground with your friends, even if it’s different from before.

7. Encourage Their Involvement but Don’t expect it

• Ask for Support: If you need advice or help, don’t hesitate to ask your friends. They might appreciate being included in your journey and offering support.
• Don’t Expect It: Some people just are not “kid people”. If they politely decline an invite from you, you need to be understanding of they’re requests.
• Involve Them in Special Moments: Share special milestones or events related to your baby. It helps them feel a part of your life and keeps the connection strong.

8. Understand Their Perspective

• Acknowledge Their Lives: Remember that your friends may also be dealing with their own challenges and changes. Be empathetic towards their experiences and maintain mutual support.
• Balance Conversations: While it’s natural to talk a lot about your baby, try to keep conversations balanced. Ask about their lives and interests to maintain a two-way relationship.

9. Set Boundaries

• Be Clear About Limits: If you need time to adjust to your new role, let your friends know when you might need to take a step back temporarily.
• Manage Expectations: Set realistic expectations about how often you can hang out or engage in certain activities.

10. Keep the Friendship Alive

• Celebrate Milestones Together: Continue to mark significant events in your life with your friends, like your own birthday, not just your baby’s milestones, but yours too.
• Express Appreciation: Show gratitude for their understanding and support. Acknowledging their efforts can strengthen your bond.

By employing these strategies, you can maintain and even strengthen your friendships while navigating the exciting journey of parenthood. It’s all about communication, flexibility, and finding ways to blend your new life with the existing relationships you cherish.