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Family, Motherhood

Building a Support System as a New Mom

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Becoming a new Mama is a transformative experience, and having a robust support system can make all the difference in navigating the challenges and joys of motherhood. Building a support system involves creating a network of people beyond just your partner. You need resources that can provide emotional, practical, and informational assistance.

We hope this helps to guide you on how to build and strengthen your support system as a new mom:

Let’s Identify Your Support Needs

Understanding your specific needs will help you target the right resources and people.

How to Identify Needs:

  • Emotional Support: Identify if you need someone to talk to about your feelings and experiences.
  • Practical Help: Determine if you need assistance with tasks such as meal preparation, childcare, or household chores.
  • Informational Support: Recognize if you need advice on breastfeeding, baby care, or postpartum recovery.

Maybe we can Reach Out to Family and Friends

Family and friends can provide immediate, familiar support and practical help.

How to Reach Out:

  • Communicate Your Needs: Be clear about what type of help you need, whether it’s emotional support or practical assistance.
  • Ask for Specific Help: Instead of a general “Let me know if you need anything,” ask for specific tasks, like running errands or babysitting.
  • Accept Offers of Help: Don’t hesitate to accept help when offered, even if it’s from people you haven’t reached out to directly.

Join a couple of Parenting Groups

Why It’s Important: Parenting groups offer a sense of community, shared experiences, and practical advice. We have a pretty good one ourselves over on Facebook.

How to Join Groups:

  • Local Parenting Classes: Look for local classes or workshops on parenting, baby care, or postpartum recovery.
  • Online Forums: Join online communities or forums for new moms, such as Facebook groups or specialized parenting websites.
  • Meetup Groups: Search for local meetup groups or playdates to connect with other moms in your area.

Sometimes we should Seek Professional Support

Professional support can provide expert advice, counseling, and tailored assistance.

How to Seek Professional Support:

  • Lactation Consultants: If you’re breastfeeding, a lactation consultant can offer valuable support and advice.
  • Postpartum Doula: A postpartum doula can assist with baby care, household tasks, and provide emotional support.
  • Therapists or Counselors: If you’re experiencing postpartum depression or anxiety, seeking a mental health professional can be crucial for your well-being.

Establish a Routine

A routine can help manage daily responsibilities and create predictability, which is comforting.

How to Establish a Routine:

  • Plan Regular Check-Ins: Schedule regular catch-ups with family and friends to maintain connections and support.
  • Organize Your Day: Develop a daily routine that includes time for self-care, baby care, and family activities.
  • Build In Flexibility: Allow room for adjustments in your routine to accommodate unexpected changes and needs.

Utilize Community Resources

Community resources can offer additional support and services.

How to Utilize Resources:

  • Local Support Organizations: Look for organizations in your community that offer support to new moms, such as parenting centers or women’s health organizations.
  • Healthcare Providers: Your pediatrician or obstetrician may have resources or recommendations for local support groups or services.
  • Public Libraries: Many libraries offer parenting workshops, story times, and other events that can provide support and social opportunities.

Create your own local Support Network with Fellow Moms

Connecting with other new moms near where you live can provide mutual support and understanding.

How to Create a Network:

  • Attend Playgroups: Join local playgroups or mom-and-baby classes to meet other new parents.
  • Participate in other established mom groups: Engage in local groups where you can share experiences and seek advice.
  • Organize Meetups: Arrange casual meetups with other new moms you meet through classes or groups.

Communicate Openly with Your Partner

Open communication with your partner ensures you both understand and support each other’s needs and responsibilities.

How to Communicate:

  • Share Responsibilities: Discuss and divide household and baby-related tasks to avoid overwhelm.
  • Express Needs: Be open about your needs and feelings and encourage your partner to do the same.
  • Support Each Other: Provide emotional support and encouragement to each other as you navigate parenthood.

Self-Care is not selfish. it’s a necessity.

Self-care helps maintain your physical and emotional well-being, enabling you to better support your baby and family.

How to Practice Self-Care:

  • Prioritize Rest: Ensure you’re getting enough rest and sleep whenever possible.
  • Engage in Activities You Enjoy: Make time for hobbies or activities that bring you joy and relaxation.
  • Seek Professional Help: If needed, consider therapy or counseling to support your mental health.

Building a strong support system as a new mom involves reaching out to family and friends, joining parenting groups, seeking professional support, utilizing community resources, and maintaining open communication with your partner. By identifying your needs and actively seeking support, you can create a network that will help you navigate the challenges of new motherhood and thrive as a parent. Remember, it’s okay to lean on others and ask for help—doing so is a sign of strength and self-awareness. – AT Mama

Family, Motherhood

Handling Parental Burnout

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Author: Mariette Dean

Burnout is real. And It sucks.

As a mama of 3 boys all under 8 years old, there are days when the exhaustion hits so hard that even the simplest tasks—like getting breakfast ready or packing lunches—feel monumental. I try to remind myself that it’s okay to take a step back. Asking for help or carving out just a few moments for myself shouldn’t make me feel like a bad parent. I have found some ways that actually makes me stronger in my parenting role. When I prioritize my mental and emotional well-being, I’m better equipped to care for my kids. I’ve learned that self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s essential for surviving the rollercoaster of parenthood.

Balancing the constant demands of parenting and finding time to recharge is a challenge, but it’s not impossible. Whether it’s sneaking in a quick nap, taking a walk alone, or just sitting quietly with a cup of coffee while a grandparent of husband watches them, those little breaks help me feel more like myself. I’ve learned to embrace imperfection and let go of the guilt. Parenthood is hard, and burnout happens, but by giving myself grace and support, I’m finding ways to cope and keep going.

What I have found is that handling parental burnout requires a multifaceted approach, as it often stems from a combination of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Addressing it involves both practical strategies and self-care practices.

I hope this little guide I’ve compiled can help you to manage and overcome some of the challenges of parental burnout:

First, Lets recognize the Signs of Burnout

Identifying the signs of burnout early allows you to take proactive steps to address it.

Signs to Watch For:

  • Chronic Fatigue: Feeling constantly drained, regardless of how much rest you get. Like, I drank a cup of coffee and still feel dead to the world.
  • Emotional Exhaustion: Persistent feelings of irritability, frustration, or sadness. There are moments where we all feel those emotions but this is concerning when its more of an all day standard.
  • Decreased Motivation: Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed or feeling unenthusiastic about parenting tasks or losing that connecting with your kids of loved ones where you are more or less operating on auto pilot just to get through the day.
  • Physical Symptoms: Experiencing headaches, muscle tension, or gastrointestinal issues. For me it was like a ringing in my ears that wouldn’t go away. I was overstimulated to the point it felt like a bomb when off and my hearing still hasn’t come back fully. That and I would grit my teeth, I still don’t know why but I blame the exhaustion.

Now, we need to Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself helps replenish your energy and improve your overall well-being. If anyone around implies that it is selfish to take these moments for your self, simply tell them it is for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of the children and continue to do so.

Some Ways I Found Solace:

  • Scheduling Regular Breaks: Allocate time for yourself each day, even if it’s just a few minutes of quiet or a short walk. Even 30 minutes to get some fresh air.
  • Engage in your Hobbies: Get back to the activities you enjoy to recharge your mental and emotional batteries.
  • Practice Some Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate practices like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to manage stress. Find a place that is off limits to children and make it your sanctuary space.

It’s Important to Seek Support

Sharing your experiences and receiving support can alleviate feelings of isolation and overwhelm.

  • Reach out to loved ones for emotional support, practical help, or just a listening ear.
  • Participate in parenting groups or online communities where you can share experiences and advice. We have a wonderful group here.
  • Don’t be afraid to seek counseling or therapy if you’re struggling to manage burnout on your own.

Start Delegating those Responsibilities!

Sharing responsibilities reduces your workload and provides relief from constant demands.

  • Share Those Parenting Duties! Communicate with your partner or co-parent to divide parenting tasks more evenly.
  • Ask for Help! Don’t hesitate to request assistance from family members, friends, or hired help for tasks like childcare or household chores.
  • Outsource Tasks! Consider using services like meal delivery, housekeeping, or childcare to alleviate some of your burdens.

Let’s Set Some Realistic Expectations

Managing your expectations helps reduce unnecessary pressure and added stress.

  • Recognize that perfection is not attainable and allow yourself to have an off day or a less-than-perfect outcome.
  • Divide large tasks into smaller, manageable steps and focus on one thing at a time.
  • Acknowledge and appreciate ALL of your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

Establish Boundaries

Setting boundaries helps you manage your time and prevent overcommitment.

  • Avoid overloading your schedule with additional commitments or responsibilities.
  • Create a clear separation between work and family time to reduce stress.
  • Clearly express your limits to others and practice saying “no” when necessary.

Everything else can wait, let’s Focus on Quality Time

Spending quality time with your family strengthens relationships and provides emotional support.

  • Plan meaningful activities that foster connection and enjoyment with your family.
  • Practice mindfulness and be fully engaged during family interactions, rather than being preoccupied with tasks or stress. Your kids will appreciate your presence more than they will a clean house!
  • Establish family routines that provide structure and stability.

Now, we need to Find ways to Manage Stress

Effective stress management reduces the risk of burnout and enhances overall well-being.

  • Practice Stress-Reduction Techniques such as exercise, journaling, or engaging in relaxing hobbies to manage stress. I found a weekly yoga appointment with my best friend was enough for me.
  • Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle by eating a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, and ensuring adequate sleep to support your physical and mental health.
  • Seek Professional Guidance. Consider working with a therapist or coach to develop personalized stress management strategies.

Reevaluate Your Priorities

Reassessing your priorities helps you focus on what truly matters and adjust your life accordingly. You can’t please everyone. Something will have to give even if it feeling like you’re letting someone down. If you are in burnout, you’re not actually helping anyone.

  • Consider what is most important to you and align your actions with these priorities. What are your goals? Short term and long term? Write them out if you need to.
  • Identify areas where you can simplify or reduce complexity to decrease stress and improve your quality of life.
  • Make changes or adjustments to your daily routine to better support your overall well-being and family needs.

Lastly, and I would argue most importantly, Foster Connection with Your Partner

Just because you gave birth to them doesn’t mean they are your sole responsibility. A strong partnership should provide mutual support and help to share the parenting load. You MUST be patient with this one. Your partner is not going to do things exactly the way you would prefer, what’s important is that they are trying. It will take them time to learn what you and your baby’s needs are too.

  • Discuss your feelings and challenges with your partner to foster understanding and collaboration. This is likely their first time learning too.
  • Schedule regular time for just the two of you to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company.
  • Work together to divide parenting and household tasks fairly.

Managing parental burnout involves recognizing the signs, prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and making practical adjustments to your routine. By taking proactive steps to care for yourself and your family, you can reduce stress, improve your well-being, and create a more balanced and fulfilling parenting experience. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help and make changes to support your mental and emotional health. I hope this helps you in doing just that. -MD

Motherhood

Tips for Navigating Mom Friendships

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Author: Anna Reeves

Having moved to several different states every couple of years, I’ve had to start fresh and build new friendships time and time again. I didn’t want to entirely give up my current friendships either. Through those experiences, I’ve learned valuable lessons about navigating friendships as a mom. While it can be both rewarding and challenging, balancing the demands of motherhood with cultivating meaningful relationships takes intention and effort. Here are my best tips for successfully navigating and nurturing mom friendships:

Go where moms go

While this may seem obvious, This is actually the best places to make mom friends. This may be local or online, but look for groups where you can join or introduce yourself. Parks are no longer top choice for meeting other mamas. Try fit for mom or My Gym children’s fitness centers. Local libraries.

make the first move

It’s kinda like dating. Ew. I know but really.. the other mamas are in the same position you are but they most likely don’t want to speak up either. Some great icebreakers are to ask how old is their kid? or compliment their choice in diaper bag etc. Just start the conversation.

Nurture your already existing friendships by Prioritizing Communication

Clear and open communication helps build trust and understanding. If your friend has a child also, remember all mamas have different styles of parenting and you need to be able to communicate your style effectively not to step on their toes, but to also set your boundaries and expectations. My high school best friend and I are wildly different when it comes to our parenting styles, but I respect her choices and she respects mine. Share your feelings and needs openly, and encourage your friends to do the same.

Embrace the Chaos together

Motherhood can be chaotic, and being understanding helps maintain strong bonds. Recognize that life with kids can be unpredictable and messy. Don’t stress about having a perfectly clean house or a perfectly planned outing, embrace and accept those imperfections. Find humor in the chaos and share light-hearted moments with your friends.

Schedule Regular Meetups

Regular interactions strengthen friendships and provide support. Set dates for playdates, coffee breaks, or mom’s night out in advance. Meet in places that are kid-friendly or find activities that both you and your kids will enjoy. If in-person meetups are difficult, use video calls to stay connected. But show up when you say you will.

Share Parenting Tips and Support

Sharing experiences and advice can provide mutual support and reassurance. Share parenting tips and advice in a supportive, non-judgmental way. Don’t hesitate to seek out advice or support when needed. Share and celebrate each other’s parenting successes and milestones.

Respect Boundaries

Respecting personal boundaries fosters a healthy and respectful friendship. Recognize that everyone has different boundaries and schedules. Don’t assume your friends are available or interested in every activity. Clearly communicate your own needs and listen to theirs.

Balance Friendships with Family Time

Maintaining a balance ensures that family and friendships both receive attention. Plan time for family activities while also carving out time for friends. When possible, include family members in your friend activities to blend social and family time. Be realistic about how much time you can devote to friendships given your family commitments.

Support Each Other’s Parenting Styles

Respecting different parenting approaches fosters a supportive environment. Accept that different families have different approaches and practices. Focus on positive support rather than critiquing each other’s methods. Offer encouragement and support in areas where your friend might be struggling.

Plan Low-Key Gatherings

Low-key gatherings can be less stressful and more enjoyable. Host small quick and simple playdates or a quick coffee at home with a friend for a relaxed atmosphere. Meet at a neighborhood park for an hour or have a brunch or little picnic for a casual and enjoyable outing.

Be Supportive During Tough Times

Life happens. There are motherhood journeys that have good and bad all wrapped up in one. Offering support during difficult times strengthens friendships and provides comfort for that friend. You will have times that you probably need to lean on them as well. When needed, provide practical support like meals, childcare, or a listening ear during tough times. Regularly check in on your friends if they’re going through a challenging period. Show empathy and understanding, and offer support without needing to fix everything, sometimes its better to listen than to get involved. However if you feel your friends life is in danger, you should notify the authorities, but never get directly involved in a hostile situation.

Make Time for Self-Care

Taking care of yourself helps you be a better friend and parent. Ensure you’re taking time for yourself to recharge and maintain your well-being. Establish boundaries to prevent burnout and manage your time effectively. Support your friends in taking time for their own self-care as well.

Navigating mom friendships involves balancing communication, support, and personal boundaries while embracing the unique challenges of motherhood. By prioritizing these aspects, you can build and maintain strong, supportive relationships that enhance your parenting journey and enrich your life.

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