Handling Parental Burnout - All Together Mama

Author: Mariette Dean

Burnout is real. And It sucks.

As a mama of 3 boys all under 8 years old, there are days when the exhaustion hits so hard that even the simplest tasks—like getting breakfast ready or packing lunches—feel monumental. I try to remind myself that it’s okay to take a step back. Asking for help or carving out just a few moments for myself shouldn’t make me feel like a bad parent. I have found some ways that actually makes me stronger in my parenting role. When I prioritize my mental and emotional well-being, I’m better equipped to care for my kids. I’ve learned that self-care isn’t a luxury—it’s essential for surviving the rollercoaster of parenthood.

Balancing the constant demands of parenting and finding time to recharge is a challenge, but it’s not impossible. Whether it’s sneaking in a quick nap, taking a walk alone, or just sitting quietly with a cup of coffee while a grandparent of husband watches them, those little breaks help me feel more like myself. I’ve learned to embrace imperfection and let go of the guilt. Parenthood is hard, and burnout happens, but by giving myself grace and support, I’m finding ways to cope and keep going.

What I have found is that handling parental burnout requires a multifaceted approach, as it often stems from a combination of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion. Addressing it involves both practical strategies and self-care practices.

I hope this little guide I’ve compiled can help you to manage and overcome some of the challenges of parental burnout:

First, Lets recognize the Signs of Burnout

Identifying the signs of burnout early allows you to take proactive steps to address it.

Signs to Watch For:

Chronic Fatigue: Feeling constantly drained, regardless of how much rest you get. Like, I drank a cup of coffee and still feel dead to the world.
Emotional Exhaustion: Persistent feelings of irritability, frustration, or sadness. There are moments where we all feel those emotions but this is concerning when its more of an all day standard.
Decreased Motivation: Losing interest in activities you once enjoyed or feeling unenthusiastic about parenting tasks or losing that connecting with your kids of loved ones where you are more or less operating on auto pilot just to get through the day.
Physical Symptoms: Experiencing headaches, muscle tension, or gastrointestinal issues. For me it was like a ringing in my ears that wouldn’t go away. I was overstimulated to the point it felt like a bomb when off and my hearing still hasn’t come back fully. That and I would grit my teeth, I still don’t know why but I blame the exhaustion.

Now, we need to Prioritize Self-Care

Taking care of yourself helps replenish your energy and improve your overall well-being. If anyone around implies that it is selfish to take these moments for your self, simply tell them it is for your wellbeing and the wellbeing of the children and continue to do so.

Some Ways I Found Solace:

Scheduling Regular Breaks: Allocate time for yourself each day, even if it’s just a few minutes of quiet or a short walk. Even 30 minutes to get some fresh air.
Engage in your Hobbies: Get back to the activities you enjoy to recharge your mental and emotional batteries.
Practice Some Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate practices like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga to manage stress. Find a place that is off limits to children and make it your sanctuary space.

It’s Important to Seek Support

Sharing your experiences and receiving support can alleviate feelings of isolation and overwhelm.

Reach out to loved ones for emotional support, practical help, or just a listening ear.
Participate in parenting groups or online communities where you can share experiences and advice. We have a wonderful group here.
Don’t be afraid to seek counseling or therapy if you’re struggling to manage burnout on your own.

Start Delegating those Responsibilities!

Sharing responsibilities reduces your workload and provides relief from constant demands.

Share Those Parenting Duties! Communicate with your partner or co-parent to divide parenting tasks more evenly.
Ask for Help! Don’t hesitate to request assistance from family members, friends, or hired help for tasks like childcare or household chores.
Outsource Tasks! Consider using services like meal delivery, housekeeping, or childcare to alleviate some of your burdens.

Let’s Set Some Realistic Expectations

Managing your expectations helps reduce unnecessary pressure and added stress.

Recognize that perfection is not attainable and allow yourself to have an off day or a less-than-perfect outcome.
Divide large tasks into smaller, manageable steps and focus on one thing at a time.
Acknowledge and appreciate ALL of your achievements, no matter how small they may seem.

Establish Boundaries

Setting boundaries helps you manage your time and prevent overcommitment.

Avoid overloading your schedule with additional commitments or responsibilities.
Create a clear separation between work and family time to reduce stress.
Clearly express your limits to others and practice saying “no” when necessary.

Everything else can wait, let’s Focus on Quality Time

Spending quality time with your family strengthens relationships and provides emotional support.

Plan meaningful activities that foster connection and enjoyment with your family.
Practice mindfulness and be fully engaged during family interactions, rather than being preoccupied with tasks or stress. Your kids will appreciate your presence more than they will a clean house!
Establish family routines that provide structure and stability.

Now, we need to Find ways to Manage Stress

Effective stress management reduces the risk of burnout and enhances overall well-being.

Practice Stress-Reduction Techniques such as exercise, journaling, or engaging in relaxing hobbies to manage stress. I found a weekly yoga appointment with my best friend was enough for me.
Maintain a Healthy Lifestyle by eating a balanced diet, getting regular exercise, and ensuring adequate sleep to support your physical and mental health.
Seek Professional Guidance. Consider working with a therapist or coach to develop personalized stress management strategies.

Reevaluate Your Priorities

Reassessing your priorities helps you focus on what truly matters and adjust your life accordingly. You can’t please everyone. Something will have to give even if it feeling like you’re letting someone down. If you are in burnout, you’re not actually helping anyone.

Consider what is most important to you and align your actions with these priorities. What are your goals? Short term and long term? Write them out if you need to.
Identify areas where you can simplify or reduce complexity to decrease stress and improve your quality of life.
Make changes or adjustments to your daily routine to better support your overall well-being and family needs.

Lastly, and I would argue most importantly, Foster Connection with Your Partner

Just because you gave birth to them doesn’t mean they are your sole responsibility. A strong partnership should provide mutual support and help to share the parenting load. You MUST be patient with this one. Your partner is not going to do things exactly the way you would prefer, what’s important is that they are trying. It will take them time to learn what you and your baby’s needs are too.

Discuss your feelings and challenges with your partner to foster understanding and collaboration. This is likely their first time learning too.
Schedule regular time for just the two of you to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company.
Work together to divide parenting and household tasks fairly.

Managing parental burnout involves recognizing the signs, prioritizing self-care, seeking support, and making practical adjustments to your routine. By taking proactive steps to care for yourself and your family, you can reduce stress, improve your well-being, and create a more balanced and fulfilling parenting experience. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help and make changes to support your mental and emotional health. I hope this helps you in doing just that. -MD